Things behind(depression), things ahead(so much more)

     I guess this is more for me than anyone else, but it helps to publish it.  I have been in a constant state of writers block due to my just as prevalent state of depression.  I have learned that I have to want to keep moving forward in a process of healing in order to be helped and healed.   I can't be helped if I don't want it.  It is an ongoing battle to have the desire to keep going, but I'm done feeling that way.  I want to live a life worthy of a history book.  Okay maybe not a history book, but definitely a life that is not lacking in fruitfulness and love for others.  That love comes from God.  Is it possible to love others, or even love yourself, without knowing the love of God?
  
     I don't want to be a victim of my past anymore.  My parents didn't have anyone to help them move on from their pasts, so they didn't and they carried on the abuse.  It stops here.  I pray for healing for both of them.  It has taken me a very long time to come to a place of forgiveness, but I think I am there.  I want them to be able to move on and be healed from whatever abuse occurred in their childhoods. 

I am not broken.  I am whole in Jesus Christ.  That's my prayer for them and anyone else with a past that is still haunting them.